Good morning Father! prayer for friends - Col 4

Debbie's prayer on July 6 2005, a few weeks after her initial diagnosis. I was in Brazil at the time.

Pride, from Deb's journal, July 3, 2005.

I was reading this, this morning.

December 31, 2005 prayer

I hope these prayers (from 2005) are still working! From Deb's journal ...

July 3, 2005 - choosing a surgeon and prayer

July 3, 2005. Blue skies – Homestead/Princeton, FL

     Lord thank you for being my real life and that I am “hidden” in you (Colossians 3). And please help me to live this new life that you’ve given me so that others might know you. Help me to lay aside my fears.

     I met with Dr. Edelman Friday. He seems very nice, caring and knowledgeable. Jessy went with me. He said that I am most likely going to have the left breast and lymph nodes removed. The PET will be the final conclusive test (7-5-05). So, I must decide who I want to be my surgeon and at what facility. Father, please help me with this decision. I know you are with me no matter what I choose, so I guess I should choose what is the easier for my family. I just realized this may be ongoing so Baptist will be closer for treatments, etc. Father, guide me because I cannot see the road ahead but I know you can and I know you love me. Thank you for all these things, Amen.

June 27 2005, Cancer diagnosis ....

June 27 2005, Miami/Homestead, FL (Cloudy)

Good morning Father!

It has been a week since we received a diagnosis of cancer. We are still doing tests to determine the origin. I am  battling a lot of pain. Philippians I (end of the chapter) says “There’s far more to this life than trusting in Christ, there’s also suffering for him. And the Suffering is as much a gift as the trusting.”

Father, I embrace you and your will and I realize as I do that I am also embracing the cross and suffering. The Bible mentions suffering as a gift in Colossians as well. It is not easy, but I pray that your will would be accomplished and that you would bring glory to your name. Father, I don’t want this to sound religious or pious – I simply want you to do your will and ask you to help me as I go through it.

This journal is the beginning of a journey that the Lord is taking me on. I’m sure it began before, but I wll being with Sunday, June 12 in our Miami Team mtg. the Lord (I believe) spoke to me and said “Debbie, I am going to lay you low for a time” Joseph at first didn't believe it, but after we got the diagnosis on Friday (6/17), he asked e what kind of look Jesus had on his face when he said it … I said one of love and compassion, sadness that I would have to pass through this time. So, now I am trying to find my way through this maze called “cancer” Joseph is in Brazil for 6 weeks of language study and research for this thesis. We both felt peace about him continuing with his plans. I told him the testing could take a while anyway. So he is there and we IM (Instant messenger) a couple times a day. He said there are about 30 students from all over the U.S.

I have received emails, calls, cards and visits from around the world – people letting me know they are praying for me and sharing encouraging testimonies of victory over cancer. So, I continue … day by day, looking for your guidance through this journey that “we” have begun. Thank you Lord that you are with me and will never leave me and that you love me.

8 long years ago today - July 1, 2005

Last August, as we were cleaning out old things and I was getting rid of books to make more room in my office, I came across Debbie’s last journal, from 2010 through May 2012. It was so precious me.

When I went to Ohio, my kids were still hauling away boxes of old books to Goodwill that I no longer wanted. When I came back from Ohio, one day I realized I could not locate Debbie’s journal! I tore through all of my boxes and the whole house to no avail. It was the worst moment after her death … I was afraid it had been inadvertanly taken to Goodwill. I felt like I lost her all over again by losing her precious thoughts of the past two years.

My daughter, Jessica, told me that it would turn up when the time was right. Yesterday, as I was looking through my shelves in my office for another book, guess what I found? This journal entry below was her second entry after receiving the diagnosis in June, exactly 8 years ago today! You can only imagine how emotional I felt. 

Tomorrow I will post her entry from June 27, which was her first entry after receiving the diagnosis of cancer. I will eventually get back to 1987 and finish the story of our two years in South America! Thanks ~

J. Holbrook.

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July 1, 2005 – cloudy in Princeton, FL.

  Good morning Father! (I read Colossians 2).

  Thank you that the real substance of life is in Jesus and that I don’t have to live by rules and regulations. There is such freedom in you! thank you Lord.  Yesterday, when I was in the MRI tube, Psalm 2 and thought of the song “rescued.”

  Yesterday I had a breast cancer MRI done, only one test to go, that’s the PET scan (7/5/05). Then I will be meeting with the surgeon, Dr. Moffat, to discuss what to do on 7/12/05.  I still feel peaceful –

 
        I see another surgeon today, Dr. Edleman.   Thank you Father for your presence, Go with me today, please. Amen.

Stress at midnight

December 27, 1987 12:30 AM Cold, Alexandria, Ohio.

^“O Psalm 104:34 - Lord, how many and varied are Your works! In wisdom have You made the all, the earth is full of Your riches and Your creatures."

Man and beast, cloud and mountain, roaring ocean and the peaceful farm pond. Truly you have created them all and they are wonderful. You are great oh Lord and worth to be praised! I DO praise you, Praise the Lord!

I have gone through a whole spectrum of emotions, ups and downs. I have cried a lot and wanted to sleep a lot. I feel overwhelmed constantly. I am having chest pains and general (at times severe) indigestion, burning, insomnia, forgetfulness, and staring off into space. All signs of stress, but what does one do? Help me father to organize my life better. I can’t keep up the pace.

Joseph said he had a good talk with mom and dad this am. They were encouraging him to make sure I got more rest. He was able to share his vision of church planting in Bogota and Medellin and then move back for a time, possibly to live on the farm. They were not critical of him.