2013.06.29 – Joseph’s journal

I feel lonelier at this moment than I have ever felt in my life. And emptier.

I am doing better than a couple of days ago, thanks to a couple of cigar buddies. But I am seriously facing some demons in my life. I am feeling the pain of Debbie’s absence in a new and deeper way. It feels like two ships passing … and suddenly the other ship is quickly disappearing from view in the past … after 40 years of love, she is gone. Time is flowing on … it does not wait. And I look back, and she is growing dim in the distance. How long can I look back? When do I move forward? And how do I move forward? I have to stop numbing my pain and face the loneliness and find the God of solitude there. Easier said than done.

Ships that pass in the night, and speak each other in passing, only a signal shown, and a distant voice in the darkness; So on the ocean of life, we pass and speak one another, only a look and a voice, then darkness again and a silence.   

~vLongfellow, Henry Wadsworth